Home Europe Trump should get himself a piece of Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga property portfolio

Trump should get himself a piece of Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga property portfolio

by editor

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

Even in death, Silvio Berlusconi continues to surprise.

Italy’s foreign press corps has moved into the 16th-century Palazzo Grazioli in Rome, once owned by the former prime minister and Bunga Bunga-enthusiast, presumably after the sheets were set on fire and the highest-grade possible deep clean was ordered.

The journalists who now work in the palace quickly made a discovery: There’s a secret door hidden behind a bookcase. Just like in all the best spy films, the bookcase swings open to reveal an old wooden door through which lies a staircase that leads to the courtyard to escape if, for example, you were a teenage girl needing to flee the scene for whatever reason!

If you, too, would like a cherished piece of Berlusconi property in your life, the former cruise ship crooner’s Sardinian beach estate is now on the market — and yours for just €500 million (despite repeated emails, my request that POLITICO buy it and turn it in my office have gone unanswered).

The property on the Mediterranean has more than 68 rooms plus plenty of swimming pools, tennis courts and an amphitheater. Here, Berlusconi hosted the likes of George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Vladimir Putin. The property is also filled with paintings and sculptures — although that might not be adding a great deal of value, as Berlusconi reportedly bought a lot of his artwork from late-night telesales programs.

It’s basically Mar-a-Lago — but with better pasta.

Speaking of Donald Trump, he’s certainly doing pretty well financially. Bloomberg, which doesn’t have anything better to do than track the 500 richest people in the world, said the former (and, let’s be honest, next) United States president’s net worth shot up by more than $4 billion in recent days, to about $6.5 billion.

That’s because of a merger between Trump’s social media company, Trump Media & Technology Group, and a shell company called Digital World Acquisition Corp. Trump owns more than 58 percent of Trump Media, which operates his social media site Truth Social. (And yes, Truth Social is still a thing despite not a single person you or I have ever met or even heard of using it — apart from old F**kface Von Clownstick [© Jon Stewart] himself.)

So even after paying all those massive legal bills, Trump will still have plenty of dough left over to buy Berlusconi’s palace — giving himself a nice new European base from which to scare us all half to death!


“You’re always embarrassing me like this in public.”

Can you do better? Email [email protected] or on Twitter/X @pdallisonesque

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Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best from our postbag — there’s no prize except for the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than cash or booze.

“When you said ‘cuts on ice,’ I thought you meant an end to austerity!” by Tom Morgan.

Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s deputy EU editor.

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